Roto World by Dave Diamond

After two weeks off for a much needed vacation (coincidentally, the Mets took the same two weeks off), it seems like an appropriate point in the season to focus not on the game, nor on those of us who play it, but on those who live with us. The wives (and in some cases, husbands) of roto players sometimes aren't roto enthusiasts themselves (and perhaps not even baseball fans). They DON'T CARE whether James Baldwin's WHIP is killing your team, or whether David Segui's string of injuries has made it impossible to figure out whether to keep him active or sit him in favor or Matt Stairs. They don't want to hear about Pedro's injury. Come to think of it, how do WE live with THEM??

Well, we have to, and you have to live with us. So, here's a few suggestions - for all of us. First, for the significant others out there, who don't "get it," allow me to offer a tip or two for better understanding (and living with) your roto partner.

First, try to appreciate the activity. What is it that we're doing? Some would argue that it's meaningless - akin to having a pretend herd of Canadian Caribou racing other guys' pretend Caribou across the tundra to Nome. Who would care, or take it all seriously? But it's not. It's no more meaningless than any other game/sport. Indeed, baseball itself is merely entertainment in the form of sport. The fun is in the appreciation of the athletic prowess, the spectacular plays, and rooting for your team to win. For a roto player, we are the General Manager, Owner, and Field Manager of our team. We select the players, set the lineup, manage the pitching staff, make trades, and otherwise get to be our own front office. It's better than Monoploy. We win or lose based on our skill in selecting players, and the performance of the players on the field. We watch "our" guys every day and see how they do against everyone else's team. It's fun.

It's also competition against our friends. It's a group thing. This is why I don't like large internet-based fantasy games, which are very impersonal. True roto is a group of friends getting together to answer the annual question: "who's the best?" Talking trade with a buddy, ribbing a friend about the terrible outing his pitcher had, and commiserating with co-owners over your respective injuries, is all part of the game. If you can finish in the money, you're a winner. It's not about the money, it's about the pride and sense of accomplishment of beating out your buddies. The money on the line (in some leagues) just provides a little more juice.

And it's not like we're no longer "real" baseball fans. Yes, roto ball is a bastardization of the "true" game of baseball. It's abhorrent to some people that we roto players root for guy on the OTHER team - that is, not on our "home" team. Sure, this happens. If I have John Smoltz on my roto team, and the Braves are playing the Mets (my team), I have a kind of split rooting interest. But we roto players get around this pretty easily You see, whether we're rooting for one team or the other doesn't really affect the outcome of the game. (OK, pick yourself up off the floor and repeat after me - whether I'm yelling at the top of my lungs for Armando Benitez to strike out the last batter of the game really doesn't influence the result, it only makes me feel better.) So, if Smoltz beats the Mets, I'm not happy that the Mets lost, but at least my roto pitcher gets the win. On the other hand, if Smoltz pitches 8 scoreless innings, and then the Mets come from behind in the ninth off the Atlanta bullpen and pull out a 2-1 win, then I'm REALLY happy. And if Smoltz gets hammered and loses 6-2, then my Mets will have won the game, and I'll be happy about that, even if "my" pitcher had a bad outing. It will happen. I'll just hope that he does better next time against the Phillies.

You see, it's not impossible to have both a rooting interest in a major league team, and also have a roto "team" that you're obviously pulling for.

And yes, it's all about the stats, but all of baseball is about the stats. Baseball has always been a game of numbers, where the stats of players set the standards for performance. Is he a .300 hitter, or not? Can he hit 20 home runs? 30? When players go into salary arbitration, their claims for more money are based mainly on their stats, as compared to the stats of other comparable players. That's the "real" world, so why shouldn't the roto game also be based on stats. The fact that we're looking at the stats doesn't make us "impure." We're just having fun.

And remember, at a time in the season when many teams are out of contention for the playoffs, roto players may still have an interest in baseball. This is a good thing. We can tell you who the starting shortstop is for the Padres, and the ramifications of the Wickman/Rocker situation in Cleveland - even if we're Mets fans. We follow the whole game much more closely than most fans who are simply following their home team. You see, it's not all negative!

And so, how about a "top ten" list. Top Ten things that the partners of roto players can do to improve their relationships (and survive the baseball season better):

10. Don't get upset when we're working on our draft preparation in December. We're just keeping our head in the game, and trying to avoid having to be up all night cramming just before draft day.

9. Be supportive when it's draft day. Invariably, it's not your partner's sole decision about when the draft will take place, but rather a decision based on the availability of 10 or 12 other owners. Even if draft day conflicts with some other plans in your life, remember that this is one of the most important and most anticipated days of our year. Please don't make us grovel for permission, or make us feel guilty that the draft took longer than expected. It's really the most fun we have all year, so let us enjoy it.

8. Show some mild (even if feigned) interest in who's on our team. After the draft, ask the question, "so, who did you get?" Let us tell you. That way, you'll at least know who the players are that we're interested in seeing on the SportsCenter highlights. And during the season, every once in a while, ask how the team is doing.

7. If someone calls the house and seems really anxious to speak to us about a "deal" - don't tell him that you don't know when we'll return from Australia, just call out to the back yard and let us know. We realize that these intrusions into your life are unwelcome, and that spending an hour on the phone talking trade when we should be mowing the lawn (or taking you out) is an annoyance. Feel free to place a time limit on such calls, but accept the fact that they really are important to us.

6. Don't take the tape out of the VCR. Ever.

5. Just accept the fact that the first ten minutes of Baseball Tonight are as important to us as the first ten minutes of Ally McBeal are to you.

4. Remember that West Coast games often don't end until after 1:00 a.m. Eastern Time, and that if one of our Caribou is pitching in Anaheim, we'll want to know how he did first thing in the morning. Those few minutes on the internet won't hurt anyone.

3. Don't be surprised that there is a crush of roto activity every week around the deadline for making roster moves. If that deadline is noon on Monday's, and we're on vacation, figure that there's going to be a certain amount of distraction on Monday morning, and a need for just a few minutes on the computer or telephone. It will pass.

2. Don't scold us for our audible outbursts that are related to the performance of our players. Yes, it may seem odd that you hear a loud groan when the radio announces that the Brewers are ahead of the Cardinals 10-2 in the sixth. Just assume that we've got the Cardinal starter on our team, and leave it at that.

1. Don't recycle the box scores before we get to them!!

Seriously, we're addicted. We are obsessed. It's harmless fun, and it keeps us out of trouble.

Next week - advice for roto players.

Previous columns:

07/27/2001 - How to Pull Off That One Last Trade

07/18/2001 - First Half Performance - Pitchers